FROM THE PAST: Busy As A Bee

[Mark D]

BUSY AS A BEE
Written by Mark D on October 10, 2009, 12:01:30 PM 
Have you ever noticed a bee just sitting, not doing anything?  Have you ever noticed a bee staying in the same spot for more than a few seconds (if it's still alive, that is)?  They are constantly on the go, ever busy about their business of "bee life".  But they're not goofing off.  They are at work.  That is how my life has become.  I have been, in my opinion, too busy for the past few months.  But I was reminded about how my grand-sponsor, when he entered sobriety/recover, suddenly found himself "busy".  No idle time for drinking or thinking about drinking.  And I have now had a similiar experience.

Mind you, I am aware that I must take time to relax, meditate, commune with my Higher Power (though I will admit I am lax on the meditation thing).  I have to re-energize, if you will, because from Him is where my strength comes.  But for the first six months or so in recover, I could barely get out of bed.  NO MOTIVATION WHATSOEVER!  Then it began to come slowly, in spurts, on and off.  Now, I find myself scrounging for a nap that is rarely found.  But I'm not complaining.  I prefer this to lying in bed all day, getting up in the afternoon and wishing I had gotten up earlier.  I am learning to appreciate days when there is time to just relax and not feel bad about taking a break from the hustle.  I am learning to get up and go on the days when things need to be done.  I now have to learn how to adjust to this new energy and schedule load.  I realize I have to have a healthy balance of work and rest.  I have to take care of myself.  I must continue to use the H.A.L.T. method to monitor my moods and feeling (that works really well for me, by the way).  And I must watch and not stretch myself too thin, though I have a tendency to.

There are things in my life that, in days gone by, I would have drank over... HEAVILY!  But today I am, for the most part, serene.  I have my times of thinking about things too much or giving it to God while still holding it by the shirt tail, but those are fewer and farther between as time goes on.  Staying busy helps keep my mind off of things that God is working on in my life... things which I must be patient about and leave to His time and will.  So, the next time you see a bee, think of me, or another one of us alcoholics, and say, "What's he doing?  He's living.  One day at a time, he is just simply living."  And that beats dying any day!