Came to Believe

[Lady Froggy]

The other morning started out in the usual way I woke up, hit my knees and ask God of my little understandiing to keep me sober and to do His will not mine. I went into the kitchen to do my readings and sip my coffee.  Well....while reading my mind started wandering and thinking about my daughter and how it was her birthday and I wouldn't get to see or talk to her because she is angry at me. (She is still in her disease). In other words the pity pot came over me. I was whining, crying, snotting and boo-hooing to my cousin but for the first time in forever something happened - I knew how to change it.

I went back into my room, sat on the bed boo-hooed for a few minutes longer- then ask out loud for God to take it- that I was trying to fully rely on Him and He would have to carry me today because I couldn't carry myself or even lean heavily on Him. I dried my eyes put on a fake smile and went back out to the table with my cousins.  Well, I noticed before long the mood had lifted. I was smiling for real and my heart was lighten.

What I failed to mention was that I was reading in the Big Book on the second step. I've been trying to understand if that God that A.A. had been talking about would work for me.  I had been doing what my sponsor had told me to do (just because she told me to, not because I believe it). So ...somewhere during the meeting that night it dawned on me that God had done for me what I couldn't do for myself...I think that is when I came to believe. That was a major revelation for me. I always thought that I could do it myself.

So, when I went to bed that night and got on my knees to say thank you it was because I wanted to not because I was told to with a little more understanding and trust in a God that I'm starting to except a little more....

A SMALL MIRACLE FOR ME

[Cutty Sark Sailor]

  Yay!
Great post, Lady Froggy!
May move this to Step 2 board...